It's been a while, actually, the last time I signed in was when I started work on my book. I sort of gave up on the Tsar too, I'd finally had enough. So, no more MSN for me unless I get broadband, which is unlikely.

I'm on the second draft now, I've started having "I have no mouth and I must scream!" moments too, it's kinda weird, sitting there, staring at the screen day in day out, and the fact the PC turns itself off from time to time doesn't help either. When you have to crawl away from the computer giggling because you accidentally wrote "smell" you know you have a problem...

Oh yeah, I'm 20 now, people I knew in school are married w/kids or totally mature now. I dunno, that's not what I want.

Lately, I've been losing the will to really do anything, I can't burn out now, I won't, I refuse to give in when I can see the end is near, I will finish this book, I will get my goddamn happy ending, I fucking deserve it.

This isn't rage or anything, it's just my personal pep talk, yeah over these past four years I've been wangsty and strange, but now, I'm offically an adult, and I kinda feel it. I'm more determined to do things, if I ever get discouraged I just think about how only I can change my life, there's no fairy with a magic wand, it's just, me, against the world, and, I kinda like it that way.

I know the ride is kinda slow, alot of the time there are leaves on the tracks, but, I hope, people will still ride it with me

END OF CORNY CRAP!

So, yeah, I think I'm going slightly mad *sings* I'm knitting with only one needle......